Al Michaels' Broadcast Booth Available for Sublease

Christmas come early, NFL fans.  In a somewhat surprising move, notorious Captain of the Obvious and Gridiron Glutton, John Madden has retired from broadcasting.  The culmination of the Michaels-Madden marriage is a welcome change as their chemistry was less genuine than a political marriage between the Clintons and Rodhams.

Many NFL diehards love the iconic Madden.  I have a difficult time respecting someone who has a fear of flying.  This is 2009.  Being afraid of flying these days is nearly akin to being afraid of electricity, the internet, and goblins.  Things Madden is not afraid of?  Morbid obesity, stepping on Michaels’ toes, driving Pat Summerall to alcoholism, regurgitating the same observations your girlfriend can gather during a game, and uttering “boom” after any tackle.

The smug Cris Collinsworth seems to be the easy choice to replace Madden on the NBC Sunday night telecast.  Collinsworth’s condescending tone and arrogance can be exhausting, but he is knowledgeable and can deliver insider anecdotes that the lazy Madden could no longer gather.

For a league that has fashioned itself in the mold of the Roman Empire of the sporting world, there is a serious dearth of strong analysts of both the booth and studio variety.  This is a league that allows the likes of Tony Kornheiser, Phil Simms, Emmitt Smith, and Dan Dierdorf to opine on its product.  Baffling.

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