Pat Bowlen decided to wean himself away from the tropics to address the little snafu that has been lingering around his minor $1 billion dollar business. Oh, and instead of communicating during the snafu to his fans, he has waited to address the masses from his perch in the Denver Post.
Dear Broncos Fan,
Tambien this letter can be found in Espanol for our Latino season ticket holders!
I am writing this letter today because I feel compelled to give our community and our fans an explanation regarding the Jay Cutler situation.
Nice of you to join us, Patrick. Let me get you up to speed as it seems you are just now arriving on the scene. A briefing: your Pro Bowl quarterback got in a little tiff with your adolescent coach. Apparently the coach likes trading baseball and football cards and now that he is coach he wanted to trade actual humans. He wanted to trade Jay to his old sandbox buddy, Billy, in New England for his favorite secret card, Matt Cassel. Turns out Jay got pissed, the red-handed coach lied, and you tried to let the two mediate themselves. Apparently you have another “authority” figure named Xanders, but he sounds like a robot and I’m not certain he knows what is going on. As you were saying…
One of my directives to Josh McDaniels upon his hiring was that he consider everything possible to return the Broncos to the level which you and I both expect, and this certainly includes making a fair evaluation of every opportunity presented to us which might improve the team.
“After we explored Elway and Terrell’s health as well as the possibilities of undetectable HGH use, I told the little shit, McD, to let it rip on the trades like it his Madden 2005 franchise.”
He and General Manager Brian Xanders have had my complete support throughout, and they have it now. It is important that you know that at all times we represented ourselves to Jay with honesty and integrity.
Who the hell is Brian Xanders? Seriously. And where was Bowlen this whole time? Where was this “support”? Further, does anyone find it alarming that our team is being run by guys named Josh and Brian? These are the names of 12 year old boys who sneak into porn shops. NFL teams are run by guys named Bud, Vince, Kurt, Art, and Dick. Joshua and Brian can return to their Halo game for all I care.
I assure you both Josh and I made repeated attempts to reach out to Jay, and I can not speak for him as to why he chose to limit his response.
“I messaged him on Facebook and everything. I would check his Twitter updates and send him ambiguous texts. I even poked him once.”
Ultimately, given his unwillingness to speak with either of us directly in the last 12 days- at the same time his agent clearly stating to us Jay's intentions- it became very apparent to me personally that he no longer wanted to play for the Denver Broncos. As such, we elected to trade him.
“How would you like playing in NFL Europe, you little bitch? I knew Vanderbilt kids were brats, but you take this thing to a whole new level. You’re no different than a Vandy kid named Chadwick or Archibald who graduates, gets paid too much (all while living on a trust fund), spends copious amounts on blow, and thinks the world owes him everything.”
Understand this: it remains about team. Our franchise has gone to the Super Bowl six times…
And only got blown out in four of them!
with three different coaches and with many different players.
Reevesy, Shanny, and some other dude.
It has never been about one player, and it never will be.
Unless your name is John Elway. Then it is unequivocally all about you.
Coach McDaniels shares this vision, and everyone in the organization—players, coaches and staff—must understand and accept this unconditionally. If anyone does not, that person will not be a part of this franchise.
That goes for beer salesmen, parking lot attendants, and skanky cheerleaders too.
I am extremely proud of our franchise, its accomplishments, and the region and fans that we represent.
If it wasn’t for you soulless drunks coming to games, I wouldn’t be able to afford my life of leisure. A special gracias goes to our Latino hermanos and their hard earned pesos that they spend on Bud Lights at Invesco Field.
We have an illustrious history, one which we are all anxious to add to, and if someone does not wish to be with us as we head in this direction, then we will move on, and move forward.
Nothing, and I mean NOTHING, says adding to an illustrious history like Kyle fucking Orton.
Over 96% of our season ticket holders have chosen to renew their tickets for the 2009 season.
Recession my ass! A typical Broncos fan’s financial priorities:
1. Season Tickets
2. Booze
3. Rent
4. Food
5. Flat Screens
6. Orange pick-up truck
7. Child’s education
This is once again a compelling statement of support and trust by the greatest fans in the NFL, and I assure you my only goal is and always will be to compete at the highest championship level.
The Denver Broncos will move forward in 2009 as one team, united with the most loyal and passionate fan base in football, towards the only goal we will ever pursue.
Everyone likes a good fan HJ, but Bowlen is really laying it on thick for the Bronco faithful. It almost sounds like he cheated on us or something.
Thank you for taking the time to read this and for your understanding and continued support.
This is the most any Broncos fan has read in 2009.
Sincerely,
Pat Bowlen
No comments:
Post a Comment